Whole Lot of Dating Goin' On!

Work has been busy here, thus the total lack of blog attention lately. I promise to keep the love alive, guys! Bear with me through my company's busy season... And on to today's topic:

Rich men, poor men, young men, old men.... bring 'em on!

I've been single now for 4 months and I swear, I must be wearing a sign that says, "SINGLE - and not really looking." I'm serious. I have so many menfolk fighting for my time, both from a friend and a potential boyfriend standpoint, that I can't keep them all straight (let alone find time to return all their calls).

I share this with you all because I am thoroughly amazed... I mean, I was always the "nice girl" that everyone was friends with in high school and college. Never the super popular, super hot, super *fill in the blank* girl that everyone wanted to date. But things have changed as of late. All of a sudden, I've gone from no interest to the college crowd to dating a score of late 20's- early 30-somethings.

Why? Here is my theory on all of this (based on a few tenets which will be denoted with *letters).

During the past four years, I was off the market (in a serious committed relationship). I gave off major "not available" vibes, I'm sure. After breaking up with my boyfriend, I decided I wanted to make some guy pals to fill the man-void in my life.

*A - The New Guys- I joined a few social organizations and met some nice people. This inevitably leads to multiple friendships. I made it clear up front to these guys that I was recently out of a relationship and not ready to seriously date anyone right now - I was merely looking for good friends. They respected this, but, like all humans, they were most likely attracted to that which they could not have. I was a challenge. Also, by being the "shoulder" that I could lean on, they formed an attachment to me because of seeing my hurt, which inevitably made them want to heal the hurt - with love, perhaps? Or maybe just with some sex. I don't know. They wanted to prove that they were the better man when compared to my ex. The man that wouldn't hurt me, and that would be there for me. It slowly became an unspoken battle of testosterone, if you will... the former man of my life vs. the current men.

*B - The Old "Friends" - Now that I am single again, some of my guy friends that were formerly interested in me have started their pursuits again. I talked to one last week that I haven't talked to since starting to date Mike (we're talking YEARS here). He totally changed his demeanor when he found out I was single again. And now he calls every few days and wants to "hang out." Gotta love that phrase... and his persistence after 4 years!

Emily and I before meeting for a double date this summer.


*C- The Older Guy - This one is really true, and probably the crux of the theory. In high school and college, I was the Nice Girl (like I said above). I wasn't the hot one, or the one who put out, or the one who would do drugs/substances, etc. In high school and college, that isn't necessarily cool with guys.

But then they hit their 30s. They realize that they're not getting any younger. They realize that the "hos" they went after in college are not the type of girl they want to take home to mom. They want a nice girl. And voila! The mid-20s Nice Girl like me is all of a sudden the IT girl!Amazing!

*D- The Blind Date (i.e. - the men related to older women who love me) -
The final source of men in my life is amazingly enough, through the women I keep company with. I take a skating class with mostly 50 - 60 year-old women and I deal with several middle-aged women through my job. These woman have sons. And nephews. And grandsons. And inevitably, they will approach me about dating their "absolutely wonderful" son/nephew/grandson/etc. because I am so wonderful myself. Again, props to the Nice Girl!

Pretty scary to be already have been pre-screened before even meeting the guy. I have two men that fall into this category. (both from random phone calls from their older-woman-pusher).


In conclusion (based on my summer experiences), the best way to meet guys is by getting out there and taking care of yourself. Have fun, get involved in activities you enjoy, and don't be shy to make some new friends in strange places. Make it your goal to be the nicest and and most fun person that you know. And then grab your cell phone and hit the streets knowing that he WILL call. Because what busy girl has time to sit at home by the phone and wait for it to ring? We live in the age of voice mail, ladies!