Cheating - The Scarlet "C"
I try to keep this blog light and happy because I like to promote the beautiful things that life should be... but sometimes it's good to acknowledge the ugly things so that you are reminded to hold yourself to higher standards. The anger and pain that comes from the act of cheating on another person is one of these things. Hopefully this entry will make some of you think about the destructive nature of cheating in regards to your own relationships and will give you the courage to do the right thing if it needs to be done.
NOTHING hurts worse than seeing someone you care about wearing the Scarlet C: "C" for Cheater; "C" for Coward.
Now, let me make my definition of cheating clear to you all before I write on: Cheating isn't necessarily sleeping with someone or even kissing someone. Cheating, in its purest form, starts with intent - if you are in an established relationship and you meet someone new and you a) communicate with this new person with inappropriate intent b) earnestly plan to take action physically or c) actually do allow something physical to happen, you are cheating. All three tenets violate the bounds of your current relationship and are unacceptable.
As I said before, I've been thinking a lot lately about the relationships in my life, both past and present. I've been thinking about things that have caused some to grow strong and things that have caused others to fall apart. And I have decided that truly, the MOST HURTFUL and WORST form of disrespect is to cheat. Breakups are difficult enough without adding this pain to the life of another person.
And cheating certainly cheapens one's memories of the relationship as a whole. In an instant, all experiences shared, all positive energy created together is wiped clean by cowardice. Why? Because cheating invalidates the beautiful, real, and honest experiences. It leaves the memories to sit like an empty eggshell, still viewable on the outside but missing true substance on the inside. You can't trust anything you thought the relationship was or who you thought the person was because they not only have the ability to lie, they can and will use it.
Good relationships are based on communication, trust, honesty, and respect. I really want you all to think about this... if you're in a relationship that isn't making you happy or in a relationship that you can't see yourself in long-term, do the adult thing - tell him/her. Don't make excuses. Don't be manipulative and conniving... be honest. It may hurt him/her now, but he/she will forgive you and respect you for it in the future after the heartache has subsided. He/she may even be able to find a friendship with you down the road.
I'm not saying this is the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. Hold yourself to these high standards. Just think, cheaters have to carry the ugly "mark" on their souls the rest of their lives. They have to live with the fact that not only did they break a heart, they inflicted the worst kind of pain imaginable on someone else. That must be a heavy heavy load.
Don't let that horrible person be you.
NOTHING hurts worse than seeing someone you care about wearing the Scarlet C: "C" for Cheater; "C" for Coward.
Now, let me make my definition of cheating clear to you all before I write on: Cheating isn't necessarily sleeping with someone or even kissing someone. Cheating, in its purest form, starts with intent - if you are in an established relationship and you meet someone new and you a) communicate with this new person with inappropriate intent b) earnestly plan to take action physically or c) actually do allow something physical to happen, you are cheating. All three tenets violate the bounds of your current relationship and are unacceptable.
As I said before, I've been thinking a lot lately about the relationships in my life, both past and present. I've been thinking about things that have caused some to grow strong and things that have caused others to fall apart. And I have decided that truly, the MOST HURTFUL and WORST form of disrespect is to cheat. Breakups are difficult enough without adding this pain to the life of another person.
And cheating certainly cheapens one's memories of the relationship as a whole. In an instant, all experiences shared, all positive energy created together is wiped clean by cowardice. Why? Because cheating invalidates the beautiful, real, and honest experiences. It leaves the memories to sit like an empty eggshell, still viewable on the outside but missing true substance on the inside. You can't trust anything you thought the relationship was or who you thought the person was because they not only have the ability to lie, they can and will use it.
Good relationships are based on communication, trust, honesty, and respect. I really want you all to think about this... if you're in a relationship that isn't making you happy or in a relationship that you can't see yourself in long-term, do the adult thing - tell him/her. Don't make excuses. Don't be manipulative and conniving... be honest. It may hurt him/her now, but he/she will forgive you and respect you for it in the future after the heartache has subsided. He/she may even be able to find a friendship with you down the road.
I'm not saying this is the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. Hold yourself to these high standards. Just think, cheaters have to carry the ugly "mark" on their souls the rest of their lives. They have to live with the fact that not only did they break a heart, they inflicted the worst kind of pain imaginable on someone else. That must be a heavy heavy load.
Don't let that horrible person be you.
posted by Kristina @ 8:01 PM
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