Love, Hate and Folk Music

I spent the weekend camping with my family (and Dan and Lexie) at the Father Folk Fest, a wonderful local home-grown folk festival. It did not disappoint.

There is nothing like camping and listening to amazing music with great people! I find that I get so inspired when I spend time with such creative folks... you can just feel the positive vibe in the air. Such love.

I was thinking this weekend about all the different things that have shaped my life in the past 2 years and I realized what a great place, emotionally, I am in right now: I have great local friends, both old and young; I've retained cherished friendships with friends that live far away; my family is steadfast and strong behind me; and I am in love with the funniest, kindest, and most wonderful man I have ever met. I can't be any happier.... I am truly blessed to fill my life with such very beautiful people.

Even so, I sometimes find myself haunted by failures of my past, namely in one past romantic relationship (he is no longer a part of my life). I still harbor some very negative feelings toward this person who has scarred my trusting heart. I don't want to hate him, but it seems to be the indelible residue left by voided love (I was lied to, cheated on, and left to pick up the shattered pieces of myself in a relationship that had apparently been over a long time before on his end).

I am posing this as a general question to all of you: Where does personal absolution come from? I'd like to get rid of this baggage for good... I'm carrying too many good things right now to be bothered by the bad feelings that pop up periodically.

Any ideas for emotional/spiritual cleansing?

Much love to you all.

Big Happy Birthday!!!

Sending lots of birthday love to my soul sista, Caitlin...

Cait turns 24 today and just finished up with a white-water rafting trip in Thailand. I miss this girl like crazy and am making a request to you all, even if you don't know Cait well or even at all, to send a little love her way (Birthday wishes via a card, a small care package, etc). Imagine what it must be like to live halfway around the world where they don't really speak your language. Greetings from home make the hard days bearable.

Besides thinking about my adventuring friend a lot this week, not much else going on. I've been filling my time with football, family, cooking with Dan the man, watching some good movies, and prep for the folk fest this weekend (I get such happiness from this seemingly mundane stuff, nonetheless). Dan and I have also done some local on-foot exploring and found some beautiful homes and property in our town. Lots more exploring to do when time allows.

It's a great day to be alive!

Working the Chain Gang

I had an all-American weekend this past weekend. It was pretty low-key and relaxing, but much needed after my frenzied schedule of the last few weeks.

I went to Doug and Dave's show (co-headlined it) at a local coffee shop on Friday and it was excellent, as usual. I am becoming quite the coffee shop frequenter. Afterward, Doug, Lexie and I rented a movie (the Matador) and ate "tapas" (really, just some homemade popcorn and chips/salsa) sitting on my living room floor. "The Matador" was bizarre but hilarious - complete 21-humor if you're interested in seeing it.

Saturday was a busy day. I met up with Dan and Erika for lunch, and then we went shopping and saw Lady in the Water. We all liked it a lot - it is much better than the critics make it out to be.

The most exciting part of my weekend was Saturday night. Dan and my friend Brian called and asked us if we were interested in volunteering at the Piranhas game Saturday night (the semi-pro football team that plays in Harrisburg). We helped out and got to be the chain crew marking the downs!! It was SO cool and we had a great time. I even got my ass slapped by some dude running off the field (and my boyfriend just laughed, go figure).

On that note, I am so excited for football... college, pro, you name it. Dan and I are READY! (i'm actually venturing to the world of fantasy football this season, believe it or not!)

We grabbed a late dinner at Coakley's Saturday night and slept in until 11:30 on Sunday. I spent the day cleaning, running errands, and washing my car. Dan and I grilled out with my 'rents Sunday night. It was a gorgeous night for a cookout and we had a lovely time.

CAN'T wait for Father Folk next weekend.

Life List Moment!

I've been home now for three days and I just had this startling revelation - one of my Life List items has been checked off!! What an accomplishment!

I am still on such a high from our Route 66 road trip. It was one of the best journeys of my life with two of my absolute favorite people. I am so lucky.

For those of you who missed my explanation post on 4/6/06, my definition of "Life List" is as follows:

Life List - n. A list of personal dreams or anticipated goals that one intends to accomplish in his/her lifetime.

To those of you that do not currently have a Life List, make one! What a feeling of accomplishment to see the items get checked off...

Back from the Road - A Few Reflections

Well, it's been a pretty crazy and amazing last week, traveling the Mother Road with my two oldest friends and seeing America coast-to-coast. For those of you that have not been following it, check out our trip blog at http://route66pirates.blogspot.com .

Everyone should, at least once in their life, take the quintessential road trip with their best buddies. Do it. America has so much beauty and so many different faces, and you deserve to experience them. It will remind you why you should be proud to be a citizen of this great country - because the people you will meet along the road ARE the faces of freedom and the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness.

Our trip was inspiring and full of happiness, love, sadness and adventure and it made me realize that home is truly where the people you love are (you are SO right, Cait). I am missing Marcia and Emily already.

Yesterday was pretty much the hardest day of my life, having to look at those two and then jump on a cross-country plane back to Baltimore. It was all I could do to not completely lose it in front of LAX... I had to remove myself from the situation and try to suppress the emotion because I would've been ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I am soooo happy for my girls. They have great jobs, a lovely apartment, and such adventures awaiting them on the Left Coast. I just feel like there is a small part of the East Coast left empty in their departure. There is a hole that cannot be filled by anyone else that the people over here definitely notice already.

Part of what is difficult, I think, is that I have never had to live without them being close by. Cait and I had some tears when she left for China and there are moments I wish with all my heart that she was close to home (when I'm missing hugs and good conversation and late night nacho-eating & beer binges while watching the Sound of Music). But Cait and I have lived apart quite a bit, and we know we can survive the distance because we're soul sisters. I'm hoping that things work the same way with M & E.

Still, leaving Marcia and Emily 3,000 miles away is so strange. Especially Em... it's like cutting my right arm off. It's like Mick without Keith. The thought is so weird.

I had my 'moment' in the car when Zeppelin's 'Going to California' came up on the ipod playlist. This song makes me think back to college when Emmy would play it and talk about moving to California. I am so damn proud of her for finally taking this step and getting there. She is going to forge a brilliant path, the opportunity that which is so long overdue. I am so proud of BOTH of them!

Sending love from sea to shining sea and beyond. My friends cover the planet... and make me so proud to have them in my life and let me experience the entire world through them.